Breathe

As I take in the ocean air,

Hear the waves crashing,

Feel the salt touch my skin,

I find peace.

I find freedom.

I can breathe, at last.

I feel love from those

Who care for me for no other reason

Than the simple fact that I exist.

In this moment, I am fully alive,

Knowing fear cannot constrain me.

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Cacophony

I’ve learned to hide

In the shadows,

Underneath the ledges,

Behind the curtains,

In the back of the room,

At the end of the line.

 

I’ve learned to step aside,

Stand when I wanted to sit,

Stay when I wanted to leave,

Talk when I wanted to be quiet,

Laugh when I wanted to cry.

 

Unlearning years of doing,

Being, acquiescing

Has challenged me,

Thrown me,

Unsettled me.

 

And yet, I cannot stop.

For if I do, I’ll never find out

What I need to quiet

The cacophony inside me.

Not One, But Two

Our children’s milestones

Unleash all sorts of feelings

That threaten to undo us,

With love and pride

And tears of joy.

While many parents are aglow

With new profile pics of their

Soon-to-be 8th grade graduates

I find myself finally acknowledging

The enormity of what it took

To prepare not one, but two daughters,

Born 10 minutes apart,

For Kindergarten,

First Communion,

The ups and downs of friendships,

Science Camp,

Projects and papers,

Homework and tests,

Graduation and the new journey of high school.

I don’t often play the twins mom card

But these years, months, weeks, days

Leading up to this moment

Give me pause for the sheer wonder

Of how we made it this far

With these brave, young women

Who inspire us every day

With their individuality and intelligence

In a world that often only sees them

As one.

Voices

I have listened to

A lifetime of voices in

My head about who others

Think I am, want me to be.

Always comparing myself to others,

Always falling short somehow.

I believed in what I heard;

I didn’t believe in me.

I ingested the harsh words;

I didn’t know another way.

I absorbed their truths;

I didn’t know my truth.

I am releasing the loud, deafening voices

As I finally realize they no longer serve me

For I have wisdom

They never had,

I have strength

They never provided,

I have love

They never knew.

Release Me

Surrounded by a circle

Of trees in the forest

I let go of everything

Enjoying the beauty of me

Surrounded by love and light

From the Universe.

With each deep breath

I released me from

The pressures and stress

Of the outside world.

I found peace, I let tears fall,

I saw the brilliant purple light

Guide me and hold me still

To remind me of my Truth,

And the Spirit that lives within.

Finding Your Truth

Finding your truth

Takes courage to

Charter unknown roads

In the dark.

It takes strength

To keep going on

When you want to quit.

Finding your truth

Requires faith in God

And yourself that

The answers you seek

Will come when you’re ready.

It demands patience

To sit with the pain

And confusion until

The hurt is gone.

Finding your truth

Will lead you in all directions

That might get you lost

For awhile.

It will make you long

For the comfort of the familiar

Even when you seek adventure.

Finding your truth

Is about discovering the you

God has known all along.

Joy

I choose joy

To fill my heart and mind

For all the goodness in

My life.

 

I choose joy

To lead my way through today

And the adventures

I have yet to experience.

 

I choose joy

To let me be me

Without worry

Filling myself with

Compassion and love.

 

I choose joy.