Not One, But Two

Our children’s milestones

Unleash all sorts of feelings

That threaten to undo us,

With love and pride

And tears of joy.

While many parents are aglow

With new profile pics of their

Soon-to-be 8th grade graduates

I find myself finally acknowledging

The enormity of what it took

To prepare not one, but two daughters,

Born 10 minutes apart,

For Kindergarten,

First Communion,

The ups and downs of friendships,

Science Camp,

Projects and papers,

Homework and tests,

Graduation and the new journey of high school.

I don’t often play the twins mom card

But these years, months, weeks, days

Leading up to this moment

Give me pause for the sheer wonder

Of how we made it this far

With these brave, young women

Who inspire us every day

With their individuality and intelligence

In a world that often only sees them

As one.

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Voices

I have listened to

A lifetime of voices in

My head about who others

Think I am, want me to be.

Always comparing myself to others,

Always falling short somehow.

I believed in what I heard;

I didn’t believe in me.

I ingested the harsh words;

I didn’t know another way.

I absorbed their truths;

I didn’t know my truth.

I am releasing the loud, deafening voices

As I finally realize they no longer serve me

For I have wisdom

They never had,

I have strength

They never provided,

I have love

They never knew.

Release Me

Surrounded by a circle

Of trees in the forest

I let go of everything

Enjoying the beauty of me

Surrounded by love and light

From the Universe.

With each deep breath

I released me from

The pressures and stress

Of the outside world.

I found peace, I let tears fall,

I saw the brilliant purple light

Guide me and hold me still

To remind me of my Truth,

And the Spirit that lives within.

Finding Your Truth

Finding your truth

Takes courage to

Charter unknown roads

In the dark.

It takes strength

To keep going on

When you want to quit.

Finding your truth

Requires faith in God

And yourself that

The answers you seek

Will come when you’re ready.

It demands patience

To sit with the pain

And confusion until

The hurt is gone.

Finding your truth

Will lead you in all directions

That might get you lost

For awhile.

It will make you long

For the comfort of the familiar

Even when you seek adventure.

Finding your truth

Is about discovering the you

God has known all along.

Feeding My Soul

I have lived a life

In denial and shame

For a love that took me

Down a path of self-destruction.

I did not feed my soul

During these years.

My eyes have opened now,

The fog has cleared

And for the first time

I’m being honest with myself,

Learning more about the

Soul food found in

Hope and faith

And courage and integrity.

Because of this

I am willing, God, to be

Humble,

To find discipline

In loving myself

To persevere in the face of fear

To be spiritually aware,

And to be of service to others

Every day.

Rain of Truth

I’m on the fast track train

That doesn’t stop for anyone.

It keeps hurtling through time

Without consequence.

Face to the wind,

I feel the rain of truth

Hitting me,

Stinging and cold.

That’s what a rash of

God’s revelations feels like

When you don’t have time

To process one before

Another comes your way,

Whether you were searching

For them or not.

These truths will break you

Turn you inside out

Make you question everything

So you can become whole again

With the grace of

God’s abiding love.