Cacophony

I’ve learned to hide

In the shadows,

Underneath the ledges,

Behind the curtains,

In the back of the room,

At the end of the line.

 

I’ve learned to step aside,

Stand when I wanted to sit,

Stay when I wanted to leave,

Talk when I wanted to be quiet,

Laugh when I wanted to cry.

 

Unlearning years of doing,

Being, acquiescing

Has challenged me,

Thrown me,

Unsettled me.

 

And yet, I cannot stop.

For if I do, I’ll never find out

What I need to quiet

The cacophony inside me.

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I am not afraid

To walk through the fire

Of my life and be lifted up

By God, who loves me.

I am brave, yes,

I am strong, yes,

I am willing, yes,

To do whatever it takes to

Find peace and acceptance

And encouragement to keep going

Even when the world feels

Like it is crashing down on me

For wanting more in ways

I can’t describe other than

The need to reach beyond this Earth

And grab the light that has always

Been mine.

Grace of God

Spending years of

Living on the surface

Searching for something

Yet not knowing what that was

Instead, burying the pain of feeling

Has exhausted me.

 

Spending months of

Peeling back the layers

I hid behind,

Undoing all that I am

Breaking down the wall of denial

Has exhausted me.

 

Spending each day

In gratitude for where I’ve been

And the journey ahead

By the grace of God

Lighting my path

Has renewed me.

Voices

I have listened to

A lifetime of voices in

My head about who others

Think I am, want me to be.

Always comparing myself to others,

Always falling short somehow.

I believed in what I heard;

I didn’t believe in me.

I ingested the harsh words;

I didn’t know another way.

I absorbed their truths;

I didn’t know my truth.

I am releasing the loud, deafening voices

As I finally realize they no longer serve me

For I have wisdom

They never had,

I have strength

They never provided,

I have love

They never knew.

Release Me

Surrounded by a circle

Of trees in the forest

I let go of everything

Enjoying the beauty of me

Surrounded by love and light

From the Universe.

With each deep breath

I released me from

The pressures and stress

Of the outside world.

I found peace, I let tears fall,

I saw the brilliant purple light

Guide me and hold me still

To remind me of my Truth,

And the Spirit that lives within.